First Post May Be Unappetizing: Quiznos

When one thinks of quality lunch meats, bread bowls, chunky soups, or “Sammies”, all thrown into a huge oven thereby warming it up toasting it, one thinks of Quiznos! One may also recall their crazy good deals like the crack-referenced two-for-five sale that’s currently running. But I—I go to Quiznos for the chance that the all-toasting oven on premises can stare at me, suggestively. Because you know, women love to be stared at. Don’t understand? Just watch:

Oh yeeeeah… that gritty-voiced male oven is totally hot—for YOU girl!!! He can’t help but stare at your *ahem* “choose two”. He may be talking about your breasts, since they are so totally noticeable in whatever shirt you’re wearing, but he may just be talking about your two ridiculously succulent menu choices. If you thought breasts, you obviously had your mind in the gutter and/or want it, you nasty girl!
Perhaps sarcasm isn’t my strong point but WTF?! Did anyone see this commercial and get immediately scheeved out? Yes, scheeved. If you’re reading my blog, get use to my Jersey accent in writing. It means more than grossed out. I was offended that I could hardly catch it the first time I saw it since they slip it in there in the way beginning of the commercial, well, you saw. You almost miss it altogether! Thank Goddess Quiznos is so insistent on running ads every ten minutes or else I wouldn’t have caught this gem. Anyway, what also bothered me was the poor woman in this commercial was made out to, um, like the attention from the perverted oven. File this one under “Girls Like the Attention” with its countless other ad friends, which I will be discussing in later blogs. Furthermore, Quiznos male-version of this very same ad is absolutely nothing like the horribly offensive female version. I’m not even going to post the video because it’s so totally neutral that it’s more like background noise. Basically the dude-oven just asks his friend to borrow $5.00, to which he is denied, so he himself can get some choose two.
So. This is a classic example of some of the ads that are out there that we all let slide by because they aren’t in-your-face offensive, but definitely are upon further examination. If we continue to allow these companies to market in this way, we are perpetuating stereotypes, sexism, misogyny and the idea that we are all apathetic consumers! As a graduate student on winter break, I took in a good deal of pop culture advertisement through TV, magazines, the internet, etc., and I have never been so disgusted with the marketing strategies employed by companies that are supposedly vying for our dollar! If we are the consumer, we tell THEM what we want. We have to tell them to stop insulting us! Contact Quiznos if you want. I don’t know if it will get through, but it’s worth a try. Be nice. Tell them to bring back those fuzzy potato things with the top hats and googley eyes! Or at the very least, get rid of the friggan pervy oven! It’s unnecessary. They can be more creative than that without insulting women.
Since this is my first blog post, welcome me! I have to say, this will NOT be a negative blog. I believe in karma and I want to put some funny out into the world. I’m sure you already know but we feminists are a rowdy and proud bunch and are often quite hilarious! I’ll try to use humor as a way of making these outrageously sexist ads more digestible, enabling you to swallow your rage and write the company or whatever action you want to take. I’ll also be featuring a weekly “Hell Yes” where kick ass feminist action is featured. So yeah… stay tuned! Oh and PS- I’ll try not to make all posts as long as this one.